My Journey Towards Mindful Living: Part I

My Journey Towards Mindful Living: Part I

My Journey Towards Mindful Living: Part I
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Getting the Ball of Insight Rolling

I first heard the term “mindfulness” around five years ago, sometime in my early-to-mid thirties. I don’t remember the exact context in which I heard it — perhaps it was in a yoga class — but, at the time, the term did not evoke any sort of memorable feelings within me. I didn’t really understand what it meant and I just put it aside with a thousand other notions without giving it much thought. Admittedly, I am not known for my memory, and it’s certainly possible that I may have encountered the term mindfulness prior…maybe in my late teens or early twenties. Perhaps I came across it in one of my high school World Religion courses, when we covered Buddhism, or in reading Siddartha for my college literature class and the ensuing discussion. Whatever the case, the point is that mindfulness, the concept of mindful living, the idea of having a daily mindfulness practice and all that it entails was not in any way a significant part of my life until just two short years ago.

Mindful living Buddha
Mindfulness and mindful living

Having spent the better part of my twenties in a near-constant state of confusion and distress — a result of a persistent disillusionment with the choices I made and the outcome of said choices on my life, and also of a certain amount of emotional dissonance and lack of self-knowing — by the time I found myself in my early thirties, I felt genuinely exhausted by all the questions I had and the lack of answers. I was sick and tired of not knowing what I should pursue in life. I was done with feeling unfulfilled and trapped by every choice I made about what direction my life should take. I was beaten down by my need to always put others before myself and go out of my way to please them, to make them comfortable, to do what they thought I should be doing…after all, they seemed to have their shit together and therefore, they must know better. In short, I was not happy and I was getting really bloody tired of it. 

Mindful questions

Questioning what I truly wanted in life ultimately led me to mindful living.

More tragically, I did not know who I was or what I truly wanted my life to look like and, more importantly, feel like. I had never before taken the time to ask myself these questions and to answer them honestly. I was completely disconnected from my authentic self and my unapologetic truth. Nor had I ever given myself the space to just sit with my true self and explore what that felt like, what I really cared about, what my essential, core values were, what I wanted to prioritize in my life, what my ideal life might look like. I had no insight into my authentic identity and a complete lack of awareness around my value, my inherent worth and the undeniable power I had to change anything and everything in my life. I was often reminded of a scene from the holiday hit film, aptly titled The Holiday, where Kate Winslet’s heartbroken character is told by her friend and mentor that she is not acting like the leading lady of her own life and she responds with “you’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life for god’s sake”. I inherently knew this to be true about myself and I wondered why I couldn’t make that change and just take charge as the leading lady of my life.

 

” Those are the key moments in the process of personal discovery, of transformation, and they are the moments when turning to mindful practices and mindful living can make all the difference on this novel journey you suddenly find yourself on.” 

Yoga and mindful living

Then, I found yoga…or perhaps yoga found me, and through it I began a slow process of painful but much needed personal inquiry. This self-reflection brought me new insight into myself, and once that ball of insight and awareness got rolling down the hill, well, there was absolutely no one and nothing that was going to stop its momentum. There was no way I was going to be pushing that ball back up the hill, even though there were times in this process of self-discovery and transformation, of acceptance and surrender, that the urge to do so was almost overpowering. Change is funny like that…it is so necessary, inevitable really, but it can also be so uncomfortable and the fear it provokes can, at times, be paralyzing. It’s in those moments that self-doubt, limiting beliefs, lack of self-love, guilt and even shame start to creep back into all those dark spaces where you still haven’t fully accepted your truth and embraced your power. They push you to revert to old patterns, to return to your “comfort zone”, all the while insisting that change is unsafe, that exploring a new reality for yourself and your life is just too risky. Those are the key moments in the process of personal discovery, of transformation; and they are the moments when turning to mindful practices and mindful living can make all the difference on this unexpected journey you suddenly find yourself on. At least, that is what happened in my case…and it did, indeed, change everything.

Written By Camila

Seeker, Storyteller and Mindful Traveler

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Mindfulness and Self-compassion with Deirdra Martinez of The Uplift Movement – Part Two

Mindfulness and Self-compassion with Deirdra Martinez of The Uplift Movement – Part Two

Mindfulness and Self-compassion with Deirdra Martinez of The Uplift Movement – Part Two
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Deirdra is a holistic health professional and a cannabis health coach. She has a Masters in Public Health and is the founder of The Uplift Movement, “a resource for ‘higher’ health education and plant-assisted therapy.” Through her work, Deirdra empowers her clients to find relief from chronic health conditions, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and addiction by using plant medicine, dance, yoga, mindfulness and self-compassion. Deirdra’s own life has been transformed by these practices and therapies, and she is passionate about sharing them with others.

You use mindfulness and self-compassion practices as part of your holistic health coaching. You do a lot of different kinds of coaching and teaching from Cardio Dance to Yoga, and you also do mindfulness-based coaching around food and nutrition, which I think is really interesting because so many people do sort of eat mindlessly.

How did you get into that and can you tell us more about it?

Most people do eat mindlessly, that’s really common. It’s interesting because I had always struggled with my weight, pretty much my whole life, and even when I was dieting and cutting out carbs and exercising every day, it was always so hard and I would yo-yo all the time. But, my Dad’s wife is just so thin and eats whatever she wants and she would always say it was her genes, but I wasn’t convinced. I think genes are an easy way for people to explain that, but I noticed that she was just a very mindful eater; she ate slowly, she took her time, she didn’t watch TV while she ate, she focused on her meal, she allowed herself to eat whatever she wanted, there were no restrictions. I think that inspired me and I got very curious about that, about her habits and her approach to eating.

So, I found a program called The Psychology of Eating and I decided to do a certification with them. It was a six month program and it started to introduce me to Eastern philosophy and Yoga and even mindful eating. They didn’t really call it “mindful eating”, but that is basically what they were talking about, intuitive eating…basically all these different forms of eating and nutrition. It wasn’t necessarily about trying to figure out the right diet; it was about healing our relationships — our relationship with food, our relationship with our bodies, even our relationships with family.

food, mindfulness and self-compassion


Mindfulness and self-compassion can change your relationship to food

For me, my background was in fitness and diets, and having done basically every diet, I thought “wow, this is weird and this is deep and this is good and I like it, but it’s terrifying”. I didn’t know if I could really be without a diet or really go one day without weighing myself…I honestly didn’t know if I could do it. But, I had spent so many years doing those other things and none of it had ever worked, so I thought I might as well try something else. And it was tough, especially within the first six months of finishing that program because it was all about learning things in a new way, having a different perspective, trying to not revert back to those old, familiar habits when I wasn’t getting results right away.

I think fate works in interesting ways because, what ended up happening is that I got injured from teaching Zumba again — which would happen to me all the time because I over-exercised — so I couldn’t teach. All I could do was Yoga, which is how I got into Yoga and then trained to become a Yoga teacher and then that’s how I met the mindfulness person. So, that’s sort of how I brought everything together and created a foundation for my own coaching practice.

What I found was that a lot of people would say “oh, I eat mindfully”, but they don’t really know what that means; they’re still eating fast, not chewing enough, watching TV while they’re eating, they don’t breathe enough while they eat, they have anxiety about what they’re eating, wish they could be eating something they might enjoy more…basically they’re not present. I started to notice all of that, and I had my own experience of it as well, and I thought “wow, we need some help here.” We eat for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with hunger, right? We eat to cope and to soothe, or because we’re having fun or because we have social anxiety. It’s a hard thing to really help people connect the dots with. People get set in their ways, it’s very hard to change habits, even when the habits are creating conflict and what can come from it, like obesity and eating disorders…but it’s just hard for people to change.

In that sort of instance, do you think teaching people mindfulness and self-compassion first, not around food but just in general, helping them have daily mindfulness and then applying it to the food mindset afterwards, is that beneficial?

Yes, exactly! That’s kind of my angle with most of my clients and it works. Taking the focus off the actual dieting and weight and feelings about food, just teaching people to breathe and pay attention to their body. A lot of times what’s driving the anxiety around food is just the inability to manage stress. So, just teaching people how to have awareness and acceptance, mindfulness and self-compassion, teaching them letting go is okay…all those tools, which are simple but they’re difficult to implement. But, if you practice them regularly, they eventually trickle down to all the other areas in our lives that we struggle with.

 

“Teaching people to have awareness and acceptance, mindfulness and self-compassion…all those tools which are simple but difficult to implement. If you practice them regularly they eventually trickle down to all areas in our lives that we struggle with.”

Mindfulness and self-compassion in Tulum


Deirdra dedicated herself to practicing awareness and self-love in Tulum

I remember you telling me about a trip to Tulum and you decided during that trip that you were just going to go with the flow and practice acceptance, especially self-compassion and self-love. I think that’s such an incredibly mindful way to approach travel.

Can you tell us more about that experience of mindfulness and self-love?

Yes! I did a 30 day self-love challenge and, within that period, I had that trip to Tulum. Actually, I think my challenge kicked off in Tulum. It was funny because I was in my Yoga teacher training already — I hadn’t started the mindfulness yet, but I learned later that this kind of self-awareness is part of mindfulness — and I had binged on all kinds of Mexican food, I just went on a food fest, and I was beating myself up about it. My friend said to me “why do you do that? You take all the fun out of it. You need to just enjoy it, if you’re going to do it!” It was sort of a wake up call for me, something clicked and I realized it was true. So I asked myself what would happen if I didn’t do that…what if I just stopped beating myself up about that kind of stuff and just loved myself in every moment? And it completely changed everything, my trip, my perspective, it was a whole, huge shift. Learning to be gentle with myself and loving myself and just letting myself be okay.

When I say the term ‘mindful traveler’ what does that evoke for you?

You know, I hadn’t really thought about it before, but I would say when I went to Tulum that time, there were different layers of mindful travel in that experience. If I were to travel mindfully, I would do that same sort of thing, where I just go on a trip open and adventurous and go with the flow…I mean, I might want to pick the places I’ll stay at in advance but, supporting small businesses, supporting the local culture, looking at different ways to give back, because I wouldn’t want to be mindless and take advantage of any culture or the locals in any way. I’d want to be very intentional, and participate and be mindful in how I interact with the culture and how I’m present with them.

Kids, mindfulness and self-compassion
Self-love, mindfulness and self-compassion
Yoga, mindfulness and self-compassion in nature

Something else I’ve been thinking a lot about is how teaching kids to be mindful and have self-compassion from a young age could help them be so much better prepared later to deal with life.

What are your thoughts around that?

Absolutely! It’s interesting because I think sometimes, as adults, we think kids aren’t going to be into this stuff, that they have so much energy, they’ll be easily distracted. But I have friends who are teachers and they practice mindfulness and Yoga in class and they say that their students actually really enjoy how it makes them feel. They really benefit from it. It also creates that sense of awareness at such a young age, which can be so powerful to have that available when you’re so young. I think it’s important to get the whole family involved too, because it’s really the family that has to be supportive. 

That’s true and it’s an interesting point.

Did you ever get any pushback from anyone in your family when you were getting into mindfulness, or was everyone generally supportive?

When you’re studying this stuff, you’re not preaching it as the “best way”, it’s more that you want to just embody it. It’s interesting because, whenever you do some sort of personal growth work, other people can internalize it as “oh, you think something’s wrong with me because I’m not doing that?”. But it’s never about criticizing other people — that’s another part of mindfulness and self-compassion, there’s no judgement. So it’s something that I’ve always been pretty cautious about, trying not to preach or judge but just approach it more from a loving place, you know? There are a lot of lessons to be learned from all this mindfulness stuff.  Enough for a lifetime!

You can follow The Uplift Movement and Deirdra on @theupliftmovement

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Mindfulness and Self-compassion with Deirdra Martinez of The Uplift Movement – Part One

Mindfulness and Self-compassion with Deirdra Martinez of The Uplift Movement – Part One

Mindfulness and Self-compassion with Deirdra Martinez of The Uplift Movement – Part One
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Deirdra is a holistic health professional and a cannabis health coach. She has a Masters in Public Health and is the founder of The Uplift Movement, “a resource for ‘higher’ health education and plant-assisted therapy.” Through her work, Deirdra empowers her clients to find relief from chronic health conditions, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and addiction by using plant medicine, dance, yoga, mindfulness and self-compassion. Deirdra’s own life has been transformed by these practices and therapies, and she is passionate about sharing them with others.

As you know, you were my very first mindfulness teacher. You introduced me to the world of mindfulness and self-compassion, and both have made a huge difference to my life, so I’m very excited to talk to you about this!

To start, what does mindfulness mean to you in your life?

It is this ongoing practice that just continues to deepen my love and self-compassion and presence, and continues to elevate my awareness, as well. It’s amazing, when you realize you’ve been spaced out for so long and then when you can all of a sudden tune in and check in and be present. So, it’s an ongoing practice for me and I’ve noticed that it just helps me show up authentically and be available to others in a more authentic way.

I think that’s so amazing and it’s so true, because it really is so much about how you show up authentically. And the only way to really do that is to have that awareness, to have that mindfulness.

Yes, exactly!

What did your journey towards a mindful lifestyle look like? When did it first show up in your life and how did you get started?

It was really funny because students come in and they come to you to learn something, but then I would end up learning something from them too. There’s this mutual growth and learning there. I was teaching Yoga, and I was starting to work with clients, and I was very new as a Yoga teacher. When I was learning to become a Yoga teacher, mindfulness wasn’t really brought up, the focus was really on just Yoga. Of course we talked about taming the whirlings of the mind — that’s what Yoga is about, yoking and bringing the mind and body together — but the mindfulness connection didn’t sink in for me at that moment yet. It wasn’t until I was teaching at a studio and I had a student that was having difficulties — just very stressed, lots of anxiety — and she had told me that Yoga was really helping her, but also mindfulness and self-compassion. She told me that she had just started to take a course at InsightLA and I thought it sounded interesting. And, you know, we’re open, we want to be open, we want to learn more… So I went to the InsightLA website and I checked out one of the courses they were having and took it, and it just blew my mind. It was a whole new level of meditation. 

 

The thing is that practicing awareness, self-acceptance, lovingkindness, mindfulness and self-compassion, these are things that we aren’t necessarily taught.”

Yoga for mindfulness and self-compassion

Deirdra practices yoga daily for mindfulness and self-compassion

Do you have a daily mindfulness and self-compassion practice? What does it look like?

I do a couple of different things…I really like to practice something every day; whether that’s while I’m driving, or how I communicate with my husband. I really am very intentional about that, to practice small moments of mindfulness and self-compassion throughout the day. Then, I also do a lot of Ujjayi breathing [an ancient Yogic breathing technique]. I just ask myself “where’s my breath?” throughout the day and reconnect with it constantly. The breath is so powerful. I think, because I’ve been doing it for a long time now, it’s kind of in my practice in general, but then I also make it a point to teach it too. Because, when you teach something, you have to practice what you teach, so I always like to make sure that I’m offering different practices to my students. 

But it really is just such an ongoing practice. We have so many distractions in life — literally, everything is a distraction in some shape or form — and, in a way, sometimes being in a trance or sometimes not being mindful, can also teach us something. And that’s part of our evolution and our growth; a reminder that there’s still something we need to work on, and that can be beneficial also. 

The thing is that practicing awareness, self-acceptance, lovingkindness, mindfulness and self-compassion, these are things that we aren’t necessarily taught. And it’s not that we aren’t taught because our parents didn’t love us or anything like that, it’s culture and social programming and how we interpret things, and it’s all very complex. But that’s why I think it’s just so powerful, in terms of our own evolution, because when we do become mindful and we practice it, we can change; we can change our habits and become more authentic, and it can heal so many things within us.

 

breathing for mindfulness and self-compassion
Dancing for mindfulness

What are some of your go-to mindfulness tools, other than tuning into your breath, which you’ve already talked about?

Yoga. Yoga is a big one. Because I’m one of those people that had a really hard time sitting still to meditate. I just really felt I couldn’t do that. For me to learn Yoga first was a nice entryway into just being able to sit and be still. So, I’ll do the combination of both. When I’m doing my Yoga practice, I tend to like Hatha [a branch of Yoga designed to align and calm body, mind and spirit] more because it’s basically a moving meditation, and you get to witness everything that starts to come up. You really have to ground into being present and focused on your breath to allow that mindfulness and self-compassion to come up. So, I love that, and it’s another thing that I do pretty much daily.

Also, being present with whatever your mojo is — for me that’s dance, so I dance and that’s how I also practice my mindfulness, because I have to be very present in my body but I have to let go at the same time. Whenever I’m teaching dance, I’m very much in a mindful, present sort of space. For some people, their mojo might be painting and for others it might be being out in nature…whatever helps you to wake up those senses to get you connected again.

For someone who is just starting to get into mindfulness, would you recommend breathwork as the easiest tool to start using?

I think it’s a simple way to right away get people to feel and notice a difference. Because most people don’t have that connection of noticing how they’re breathing in any given moment — they might be shallow-breathing or holding their breath. That simple practice can be very powerful. Just paying attention to your breathing, that’s the first step, and then starting to notice what starts to happen in your body as you breathe. The next step is noticing what starts to happen in your mind, the narrative that comes up. Everybody has that voice in their head, and when you begin to hear your breath and you’re focused on your breathing, it’s hard to hear that narrative because you’re listening to your breath. That’s why, particularly the Ujjayi breath, I think that is a very powerful tool.

Do you have some favorite mindfulness teachers that you turn to regularly?

Yes! I love Tara Brach. I really love Jack Kornfield also, he’s amazing, and Eckhart Tolle. There’s other teachers that I really like too, that teach the principles of it, like Wayne Dyer and even Oprah! Michael Singer, he wrote The Untethered Soul, such a beautiful book; it’s all about introducing the voice of mindfulness and I found that really powerful. He also has another book about unconditional acceptance and surrender, and ultimately that’s what I try to practice…it can be hard, but it’s all about going with the flow.

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6 Mindfulness-inspired Tips to Beat the Post Travel Blues

6 Mindfulness-inspired Tips to Beat the Post Travel Blues

6 Mindfulness-inspired Tips to Beat the Post Travel Blues
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I’m betting it’s safe to say that all travelers have, at one time or another, experienced what are often referred to as the post travel blues. That body-encompassing sense that something is off — a disconnect, a funk that you just can’t shake, even if you’re happy that you get to sleep in your own bed again and that you can grab brunch with your friends at your favorite weekend spot.

Whether you’ve just returned from long-term travel or a short vacation, from an all-inclusive resort or from an independent backpacking trip. Whether you’ve been slow traveling or fast traveling, across the world or in a neighboring state, you get that post travel blues feeling once your trip is over and you find yourself back home, having to re-adapt to the “real” world.

You may find that you’re alternately depressed to be back, sad your adventure is over, experiencing some heavy FOMO, daydreaming of hightailing it to the airport and hopping on a flight to somewhere (anywhere will do!), and just generally frustrated by your current circumstances…aka, not traveling.

It may seem daunting, but it is possible to take action in order to reclaim your normal state of mind and settle back into alignment with your daily life.

These are my top mindful tools and practices that you can implement to help you overcome those vexing post travel blues:

Start a Gratitude Journal to Beat Back your Post Travel Blues

The easiest way to do this is by just taking a few minutes in the morning when you wake up, or in the evening before bedtime – or, if you’re really ambitious, you could journal twice a day! – to write down 3-5 things you are grateful for in that moment or from that day. This is a healing and grounding practice that, when done consistently, can have all sorts of benefits in your life, like; nurturing a positive outlook, encouraging you to be present in the moment, giving you new insight and perspective, helping you get aligned, and it will most certainly remind you just how fortunate you are to be able to travel in the first place.

 Write down what you’re grateful for daily

Create a Self-care Routine with No Room for Post Travel Blues

This is a big one and a pretty broad category, but it basically entails any rituals and/or routines that you perform in your life to ground yourself and get connected, so that you can replenish your energy and nourish your spirit. Journaling is one of these, as are; meditation, yoga, exercise, a bath with essential oils or bath salts, mantras and affirmations that you use to center yourself and remind you of just how kick-ass you are… Essentially it’s anything and everything that allows you to have some mindful “me” time on a regular basis to reconnect with your true self so that you can live each day from a place of power, inner peace, authenticity and grace.

 Add some relaxing oils to a bath for some self-care

Write out your Bucket List…and Reverse Bucket List

I’m sure most people know what a Bucket List is, though few have probably actually spent the time to write theirs out. You can make it as simple or as outrageous (no one will know!) as you like, but take some time to sit down with a notebook and write down 50-100 things you dream of doing or experiencing before you kick the bucket. It may seem like a lot but once you get going, you’ll find that the ideas start to flow and I guarantee that most of you will get to 50 items on your list easily. Dream big on this one, nothing is off limits! Then, think about all the amazing and inspiring things you have already experienced or accomplished in your life and write those down on a separate list…this is your Reverse Bucket List. It is a great tool to help give us some perspective on all the incredible things we’ve already done, reminding us of just how powerful and limitless we are and making the items on our Bucket List seem pretty darn achievable. A sure-fire way to forget all about those bothersome post travel blues!

 Get creative with that Bucket List

Go on a Staycation while your Post Travel Blues Disappear

This takes the “playing tourist at home” concept to another level entirely. Book a night or a weekend stay at a local spot that you’ve always wanted to enjoy and live it up like a visitor from out of town for a couple of days. Lounge by the pool drinking cocktails, splurge at the hotel restaurant, get a spa treatment, take a meditation class, ask the concierge for her top recommendations of sites and/or activities you should look into and just be present to enjoy that “tourist” life!

post travel blues

Plan your Next Adventure…no Post Travel Blues Allowed

And, finally…well, start planning your next trip! Get super intentional, choose one of those dream destinations or experiences from your Bucket List and start doing the research, scheduling and energetic inner work you need to do in order to make it happen. Then, go ahead and book that plane ticket because, for us travelers, nothing cures those post-travel blues as effectively as looking forward to your next adventure…am I right?

Written By Camila

Seeker, Storyteller and Mindful Traveler

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Booking Responsible and Sustainable Accommodations

Booking Responsible and Sustainable Accommodations

Booking Responsible and Sustainable Accommodations
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At Be Journeyful we believe that being intentional about where you choose to stay when traveling is certainly one aspect of practicing mindfulness in travel, and an important one at that. To that end, we aim to discover socially conscious and sustainable accommodations and/or responsible booking sites that allow us to minimize any negative impacts our visit may inadvertently cause, while maximizing all the positive benefits that a responsible and mindful approach to travel can foster.

These are the top booking platforms we’ve uncovered to help you find and book more socially conscious and sustainable accommodations for your next journey.

Kind Traveler

A hotel booking site considered a leader in the conscious tourism space. Their Give + Get model allows you to book at one of the many “Kind Hotels” – a curated selection of socially minded and sustainable accommodations – that they’ve partnered with across multiple destination in the USA and, increasingly, around the world. Users give a $10 nightly donation, 100% of which goes directly to the charity of their choosing from Kind Traveler’s platform, and get exclusively discounted rates in return. A win-win!

Wayaj

An earth-friendly travel app designed for travelers to easily discover and book eco-friendly and sustainable accommodations around the world. Wayaj developed their own eco-rating system, or Eco Score, to rate the environmental and social impact of accommodations available on the app, allowing users to evaluate accommodations on a number of factors. They also offer carbon offsetting for your travels – on them! – if you book through the app.

Bookdifferent

A social travel enterprise with the aim of improving the collective impact of the tourism industry. Bookdifferent gives travelers the opportunity to book sustainable accommodation at over two million hotels worldwide, all checked for evironmentally and socially conscious practices through established ecolabels. Users who would like to have the best possible impact should look for the first options displayed after a search, which will have the “greenest” credentials – appropriately conveyed through a symbol made up of green hearts – per Bookdifferent’s staygreencheck.

EcoBnB

A sort of low impact and socially conscious version of AirBnB, EcoBnB’s mission is to change the way we travel by fostering the kind of responsible tourism that respects nature and local communities, and benefits the local economy. Sustainable accommodation options range from eco-friendly rural villas, to responsible B&Bs in charming villages, to unique glamping options, to a few city center boutique “bio” hotels. The selection is still growing and, in the meantime, it’s creating and nurturing a community of conscious travelers and hosts around the globe.

Sustainable accommodations in the jungle


Sustainable accommodations often have a low impact on the natural environment

 

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Book socially conscious and sustainable accommodations to minimize negative impacts, while maximizing all the positive benefits of responsible travel.